Girls burn their boats when they date... sort of.... (Dating and Viral Marketing)

When Cortez came to the America’s to conquer the Aztec Indians he knew that many had tried and failed.  He knew that his men would have to be extremely motivated to defeat the Aztecs.  So when they had unloaded their ships, he ordered them burnt; leaving no means for a retreat.  They had to either conquer or die.  No I am not suggesting in any sense that when women get in a relationship that they are stuck there and there is no going back.  But it is much more of a process for a woman to get back into the dating scene after a breakup than it is for a man. 

After a breakup, a man simply asks another girl out.  But in our culture, where girls typically don’t do the asking, they resort to spreading the word that they are single again through networks of friends and family.  This viral marketing can take awhile for quality guys to get the word.  Then once they are aware, many men feel like they have to “run into them” somehow before they can call; a cold call would feel to desperate.   So in addition to the word spreading the girl typically has to get out and mingle in the social scene.  

This has two side effects.  First is that girls are often (not always) a little more cautious when jumping into a relationship when there are several suitors because once she quits singlehood its tougher to get back into the swing of things.  Additionally, girls tend to put more of their heart and soul into making a relationship work once they have committed.  Maybe this is why some women stay in abusive relationships; starting over can be very difficult.  Men should understand that if they are taking out a girl that has several suitors that she may be interested but wants to take things a little slower at first because she doesn’t want to dig herself out of “in-a-relationship status” just yet.  She may legitimately be interested and may actually be more interested in you than she lets on.  Just be patient for a couple of weeks and see if you are the cream that rises to the top.

These two social protocols may be on their way out however with the advent of online social networks.  News, especially news of a personal nature, can spread instantly with a single “wall post” or “status update.”   It will be interesting to see if this shortens the trip back to singlehood for women.  I have a feeling that social networking will change the dating/marketing game forever.  It has changed the way we do business and how we market goods and services…. It will change dating relationships as well.

This is my first blog about dating and viral marketing.... Love to hear your thoughts and comments.  Do you agree? disagree? What insight can you share?  Please leave your thoughts if you have any.

Tribal Systems

In reading Seth Godin's book "Tribes" about leadership, he highlights the fact that in today's connected world it is easier for tribes to form and leaders to emerge.  Systems and technology have made it much easier to communicate with each other.  Email and social networks and cell phones have allowed us to create micro-clusters of people across borders. 

In the past groups were formally organized to effect a change.  Unions were formed and leaders appointed.  In todays world it seems that micro-organizations or tribes are what rule the day.  Small niche businesses are not looking to provide goods and services that have mass appeal.  They are trying to create products and services that appeal to smaller groups.  There a many more micro-tribes today because of technology and networking.  

I am fascinated by the phenomenon called facebook.  I signed up and within a couple of days I had 50 people from my past request to be linked to me.  Over 2 years later I have over 500 friends and I have probably only requested 50 of them. I was looking in my cell phone and I have almost 700 people in my cell phone!!! I remember 5 years ago my cell  phone could only hold 200 numbers!

These micro-tribes have crept into our society and networking has become more prevalent.  Company's want to be remarkable to their niche and don't worry about the rest of the world.  Micro-tribes are the new way of doing business.  It is back to basics with relationships.  It truly is who you know...and in what micro-tribes they are.  We are all part of a woven fabric.  Many of our tribes overlap creating a spiderweb of connections.  I predict that the 6 degrees of seperation rule will drop to 5 or even 4 with the proliferation of these micro-tribes.