Interesting exercise: Know thyself! How do other's view you?

This summer I heard of an interesting exercise and have been looking for a good opportunity to try it out.  That opporunity came today on Christmas!  My family sat around the table and we decided to come up with three words that best describe each person.  This is an interesting exercise because many times we "tell ourselves stories" about who we are and who we want to be.  It is an interesting experience to see how the people who know you best would describe you.  The way we view the world is often called our "paradigm" or our "belief window."  and it affects the way we interact with ourselves and the world around us.  

Caution:  You should only do this if you can have an open mind and not take offense at what others say.  In fact, you should remain silent while the group debates what words to descibe you.

One by one we went around the circle and debated the top three traits of that person.  It was interesting to see what my family thought of me.  For example,  my sister thought one of the words should be teacher, because I am constantly learning from others and try to help others by sharing the things I learn.  I hadn't really felt like that was one of my most dominating characteristics...  

As a group we decided that my Mom was "emotional" (not in the crying sense but in the sense that emotions drove her behavior much more than logic).  Anyone who knows my mom knows that she is very passionate about a lot of things and definately gets into what she does.  My mom however, had a negative perception of the word "emotional" and was surprised at our observation.  You see, she didn't think people saw her that way... she eventually came to grips with the word "passionate" rather than emotional!  ha ha.  

Anyway, Here is a list of the Characteristics we came up with for each memeber in the family:

Brad (my dad): Patient, Integrity, Optimistic

Ruth (my mom): Entertainer, Organized, Emotional/Passionate

Me: Outgoing, Ambitious, Diligent

Amy: Organized, Opinionated, Extrovert

Kenzie: Emotional, Independent, Persistant

Seth: Reserved, Analytical, Strong-willed

Erica: Analytical, driven, diligent

You would be surprised how heated and eye-opening this was for a lot of us... We often have several "Me's."  Incluidng the me that I think I am, the me that others see, and the me that I aspire to be.  I would encourage everyone to try this experiment with someone they truly trust and who knows you well.  I would love to hear your experience if you do it or if you have do9ne it in the past!!!  please comment below or email me if you have an experience.  

Know thyself... you just might find out the person you think you are is different than the person you thought!  

Family Values

I went to dinner with a famous motivational speaker and corporate trainer named Jim Cathcart this evening.  I had a grand old time and spent the evening picking his brain about success and public speaking.  We had an interesting discussion about parenting and how those who put in the hard work up front find that their kids become easier to manage over the long run.  Jim gave himself a great compliment when he told me that his son was the type of guy that he would like to grow up to be one day! 

That lead us into a discussion about how important family is and that structure really does improve relationships.  He mentioned to me that when working on the Board for Junior Achievement, he put together an entire program for families based off of the Mormon Church's "family home evening" program.  He told me that he flew to SLC to learn about it and implemented an amazing program based on the same principles in the Junior Achievement curriculum.  

I thought this was interesting.... Structure can improve relationships?  Then I started thinking that relationships are based on communication.  And when there is a structured setting where communication flows freely among individuals those relationships grow deeper.  I am grateful for my parents and the structure that we had growing up that allowed me to learn a great deal from my parents. 

Balancing yourself: Do more in less time!

All work and no play make Jake a dull boy!  This cliche term holds a lot of value for me and I often catch myself falling into the trap of an unbalanced life!  Lately I have been working my brains out and incorporating play less.  This is a classic trap that people fall into....Especially me.  Because we actually work much more efficiently when we have a balanced life!  I have a friend Kyle who is extremely good at balancing life.  He goes waterskiing once a month and has been doing so for 48 months in a row!  He also is an avid hunter and fisherman.  Sometimes I am baffled by the amount of play he gets done in a month... However, he is a very successful and busy guy who works like a horse and gets things done!  I admire his ability to work and play hard!  

I have noticed that the more time I put towards church activities, helping people, and taking time for myself to recreate, the more efficient I am.  There is a lot to be said about the efficiency one gains by taking time off.  An old study on memory and brain activity may have some application here:  Subjects were given a list of random syllables to memorize.  One group was to go through the list 60 times in one sitting and memorize as much as possible.  The other group was told to go over the list a total of 38 times but to spread it over the course of a couple of days. The end result was that those who had reviewed the list only 38 times could recall much more than those who had gone over it 60 times!  Maybe we are more efficient in spurts sometimes rather than in long hours!  Just some food for thought.

Does anyone have any feelings on this?  I would be interested to hear of any experiences or applications anyone has experienced.. please post!

Goal Setting....The experiment!

I read an interesting fact about goal setting recently.  A study was conducted at Harvard in 1979 and was published in a book called "What They Don't Teach You In The Harvard Business School."  In 1979, MBA graduates were asked "Have you set clear, written goals for your future and made plans to accomplish them?"  Only 3% of them had written goals and plans while 13% had goals that were not in writing.  the remaining 84% had no set goals.

Ten years later, now 1989, these people were interviewed a second time to see where they came out.  The 13% who had unwritten goals were on average earning 2x as much as the 84% with no goals.  A very surprising statistic in itself.  But the biggest surprise was that the 3% was earning, on average, 10x as much as the other 97% combined!  

I decided to put this to the test a couple of months ago.  (Obviously the test is ongoing and will not be finished for a number of years).  So I wrote my goals down on paper and took them to get laminated.... I now carry those goals with me everywhere I go!  It is very empowering to feel it in my back pocket when I sit down. It goes everywhere my wallet does.  Since I have them on me, I read them often, and they stay on the forefront of my mind; motivating me to do things to accomplish them!  I will give an update every year or so to see where I come in.  I set 10 goals down on paper using a combination of methods from "Think and Grow Rich" as well as Brian Tracy's 10 Goal Method.

Basically I wrote them out in present tense (i.e. "I earn $xxx,xxx per year)

Then added a definited date next to them (i.e. "I earn $xxx,xxx per year by xx/xx/xxxx")

Then I wrote a paragraph about what I was going to do to get there.  

I am trying to read them each morning and night (I am not perfect at it yet....).

Does anyone have some interesting experiences with goal setting that they would like to share?  I think this would be a fun experiment if some people raised their hands and said "I am in.... I want to make some goals and be part of this experiment."  If any of the people that read this blog (all three of you! ha ha jk) are interested we could conduct this little private experiment together and see what happens.  Contact me if you are interested.

To Be Great.... Surround Yourself With Greatness!

One of the interesting commonalities of successful people is the fact that successful people surround themselves with other successful people.  Andrew Carnegie, one of the richest men to ever live, attributed his entire fortune to surrounding himself with a group of great people who had common goals to change the Steel Industry!  Henry Ford surrounded himself with the likes of Thomas Edison, Harvey Firestone, and others.  In fact, Henry spend vacations with Edison annually. 

There is a certain power that comes from aligning yourself with certain types of people.... it is the old principle that if you put a hard to catch horse in the same field as a tame horse, most of the time you end up with two hard to catch horses.  We tend to take on many of the ambitions, habits, and power of those whom we associate ourselves with.  This does not mean we should only hang out with great people, but there is a certain power that comes when you ALIGN your goals and desires with other like-minded people.  

In certain times of my life I have associated myself with people whom I admired and it raised me to a new level of what I wanted to be.  Certain people just inspire me to become more!  I love that feeling!  I have also worked with individuals who were satisfied with mediocrity... And it was much harder to motivate myself to produce above quality work.  

I would love to hear any feedback from any of my readers (all two of you!!! ha ha).  What do you think of this principle... Have you ever experienced something like this?

Creative creatures killed by habit

We are very unique beings with enormous creative potential.  But we are also creatures of habit.  Have you ever left work, found yourself in your driveway at home, and realized that you couldn't remember much about the actual ride home?!  I know I have! 

We develop habits easily as humans and in many ways it is good for us!  A routine can ensure efficient use of time when performing activities that need to be done on a regular basis.  However, when it comes to creativity and problem solving, a routine may be holding us back from looking at things from another angle.  If I don't rearrange my furniture in my room at least once a quarter, I feel like my creative juices get drained! 

Sometimes, I will take my laptop to the other side of the office and work in a cubicle just to get a change of scenery.  Sometimes a simple change of location will heighten our senses.  This heightening increases our brain activity and allows us to see things on a different mental frequency. 

So if you are in a rut then change something up!  Rearrange your furniture, take a walk in the middle of your work day, do some research in the bathtub, change up your work-out schedule. 

There is a new theory in the physical training world called muscle confusion (see P90X).  The idea is that your body becomes accustomed to a particular workout overtime and it becomes less effective as time goes by.  The theory suggests that doing different workouts every time will keep your muscles guessing and you can get in shape/lose weight faster because your body doesn't get used to a stagnant workout.  Perhaps there is an application in our mental work-outs as well...

Just a reflection.

Girls burn their boats when they date... sort of.... (Dating and Viral Marketing)

When Cortez came to the America’s to conquer the Aztec Indians he knew that many had tried and failed.  He knew that his men would have to be extremely motivated to defeat the Aztecs.  So when they had unloaded their ships, he ordered them burnt; leaving no means for a retreat.  They had to either conquer or die.  No I am not suggesting in any sense that when women get in a relationship that they are stuck there and there is no going back.  But it is much more of a process for a woman to get back into the dating scene after a breakup than it is for a man. 

After a breakup, a man simply asks another girl out.  But in our culture, where girls typically don’t do the asking, they resort to spreading the word that they are single again through networks of friends and family.  This viral marketing can take awhile for quality guys to get the word.  Then once they are aware, many men feel like they have to “run into them” somehow before they can call; a cold call would feel to desperate.   So in addition to the word spreading the girl typically has to get out and mingle in the social scene.  

This has two side effects.  First is that girls are often (not always) a little more cautious when jumping into a relationship when there are several suitors because once she quits singlehood its tougher to get back into the swing of things.  Additionally, girls tend to put more of their heart and soul into making a relationship work once they have committed.  Maybe this is why some women stay in abusive relationships; starting over can be very difficult.  Men should understand that if they are taking out a girl that has several suitors that she may be interested but wants to take things a little slower at first because she doesn’t want to dig herself out of “in-a-relationship status” just yet.  She may legitimately be interested and may actually be more interested in you than she lets on.  Just be patient for a couple of weeks and see if you are the cream that rises to the top.

These two social protocols may be on their way out however with the advent of online social networks.  News, especially news of a personal nature, can spread instantly with a single “wall post” or “status update.”   It will be interesting to see if this shortens the trip back to singlehood for women.  I have a feeling that social networking will change the dating/marketing game forever.  It has changed the way we do business and how we market goods and services…. It will change dating relationships as well.

This is my first blog about dating and viral marketing.... Love to hear your thoughts and comments.  Do you agree? disagree? What insight can you share?  Please leave your thoughts if you have any.